I would like to be a better hoarder

I have made many attempts to spend less time on Instagram in the last 15 years, with varying degrees of success. As an adult, I don't think social media is all bad, but I have the sense that I am trading something for nothing. I know it wrecks my ability to focus, and it probably makes me more likely to buy things I do not need. If Coke-a-Cola and cigarettes have taught us anything, health and wellbeing aren't high-enough stakes for some people. In this case, it appears that I am one of those people.

As I looked for a way to raise the stakes for myself, I thought of a story a family friend told me, about buying his first house in the late 1980s. He and his wife were living in the South Bay in L.A. County. They wanted to buy a house soon, but were a little overwhelmed by the process and cost, so they hadn't made any significant moves toward doing so. One day, he heard that someone he knew from college had bought a house nearby. My family friend said he had a bit of a rivalry with this individual in college, and he privately thought of himself as "better than that guy." When he heard the guy had bought a house, he thought to himself, "This won't stand. If he can do it, we're doing it." He and his wife went out that day, talked to a visibly-drunk real estate agent, and bought a house for about $20k down. (I initially planned to omit the irrelevant on-the-job inebriation, but it just really jives with my movie-based impression of the decade.) Obviously, this isn't the '80s, and we can't just go out and buy homes because now we're sufficiently motivated. Thankfully, this is not about the housing market--it's about using what motivates you, sometimes even if it's not pretty. He was catalyzed into action once the situation felt personal. He felt his self-worth being threatened, said "this won't stand," and went out and changed the situation.

Humans hoard money, trophies, possessions, accolades, and actual trash, most of which we know has no positive affect on our well-being. Why are we so quick to give our attention away for free? This is a rhetorical question, and the answer involves a ton of neuroscience. The systems were built by the world's top neuroscientists, which is why they work so well. What would help me take my social media consumption personally enough to overcome this? Maybe the market $ value of what I'm giving away. It's not a great look, for me, at least, but if the platforms are so successful because they are using human nature, maybe I ought to join them.

I asked a large language model (LLM) to help estimate what a minute of attention from someone like me is worth to Instagram and TikTok, an influencer making a paid post, and a couple specific advertisers. Assumptions abound and are acknowledged in the transcript (attached below), and in the ranges given for final figures. Even at the bottom end of the range, as my sister commented upon reading, it's "brutal."

Average millennial woman's social media consumption: ~2.5 hours per day across platforms. Let's say 60% to 70% of that is on monetized feeds with targeted ads (Instagram, TikTok, Facebook) rather than messaging or passive music.

So, roughly 90 to 100 minutes per day of monetizable attention. 95 minutes per day times 365 days equals ~34,675 minutes per year. At $0.50 to $1.00 per minute, that's $17,000 to $35,000 per year in aggregate value she generates for the ecosystem--for free.

The lifetime number:

If she's in this demographic from age 25 to 45 (peak earning, peak target-market years), that's 20 years, times $17,000 to $35,000, which equals $340,000 to $700,000. Over her lifetime as the primary target demographic, she is effectively donating the economic equivalent (in most, but not all, states, the author notes) of a house, to brands, platforms, and influencers.

And here we are, back to the house. For what it's worth, I did not tell the LLM about my family friend's anecdote. LLMs also "know" what motivates humans, which is why it made that comparison. Even if we cut that range in half, it is $120k to $350k, which is a downpayment on a condo in California. I will not argue that we should all quit every platform and put all that time toward money-earning endeavors. Money isn't everything, and these numbers do not necessarily mean we could generate the same amount of incremental personal income using those minutes. However, if I'm making donations, do I plan to donate the equivalent of a home-sweet-home in life minutes and gorgeous brain power to Meta, whoever owns TikTok these days, random creators, and enormous advertisers? Absolutely not. This won't stand.