Q & A time with Curt

Miss O’Hara had
a really good idea a while back. She asked her readers to ask
her questions
that she
could collect and answer
in a post
. Later, Irene did something
similar when she invited her readers
to ask her questions
about her career in journalism
, questions she later answered.
I’ve considered doing something like that here. I even have a category set
up for
I’ve never invited questions, however,
for fear that no one would ask me anything. I imagine people sitting at their
computers thinking, "You’re a husband, you’re happy, and you’re celebrating
marriage. What more is there to know?" There’s a lot more to
know, frankly. I’m a man of
complexity, noble in reason, infinite in faculty, in action like an angel,
in apprehension like a god, the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals,
and still merely the quintessence of dust.
And I quote Hamlet in
certain moods.

Though I don’t really solicit questions, I do welcome them. People e-mail
me sometimes. I don’t receive enough e-mails to fill up a whole post with answers,
so I concoct
few to fill out the space:

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
MCF once referred to Dave Barry’s humor as "Hendley-esque." I e-mailed a commenter
once, and she responded by saying, "Getting an email from you is like getting
a letter from Bill Bennett or C.S. Lewis!" Both of those compliments made my
heart skip a beat. But maybe the best came from a reader who stumbled across
my old site and left this comment: "As someone who doesnt really believe in
marriage, I must say that if
such a marriage as yours can exist, then marriage cant be all bad. If
ever I get married, I hope I will find someone who I can love as much as you
do your wife!" That one nearly made me cry.

Did you really say that Rey makes "mistakes born of ignorance that tries to
sound sophisticated and impressive"?

Some bloggers like to put quotes in their sidebars to let readers know what other
bloggers say about them. Rey pulls quotes out of context
and posts them to make it look like people say a bunch of nasty things about
him. He needn’t go to all that trouble. People say plenty of nasty things about
him without his having to pull anything out of context. I did
say that
him, but he neglects to mention that I also said, "For the record,
I have no problem with that."

Speaking of sidebar quotes, Amy
claims that you
called her a "highly competitive porkpier." What the heck does that mean?

Basically, it means she’s zealous in her pursuit of porkpieing. She pulled
that quote from the
same post
Rey pulled his quote
from. Funny how that happened.

What’s one good thing about marriage?
ordained it

What’s one bad thing about marriage?
I’ve been married for seven years, and I still have trouble believing how fast
a woman can use up a roll of toilet paper.

Pretty much every Christian agrees that God meant sex only for married couples,
but what about kissing?
That’s a pretty thorny question. I once wrote about it in another questions post, so check that out.

Is that all you have to say about the issue?
I suppose not. I remember being young, single, and frustrated with spiritual leaders who would talk
around an answer instead of saying something simple and definitive.
I’m tempted
to say, "Yes, it’s sinful for Christians to kiss if they’re not
married," but I’d have no confidence in that answer. Unfortunately,
the Bible doesn’t give us a commandment on where to draw the physical intimacy
line when it comes to premarital relationships.

How did that play out in your pre-marriage life?
was a real revelation to me the day I realized that sex is much more than
just intercourse. James Dobson had a good
essay about that
in his book Love for a Lifetime. Looking back
on my life, I wish I had never kissed a woman other than my wife, and I wish
I had waited longer with her. If I could go back and do
over again, I would kiss her for the first time on the night I asked her
to marry me. The other girls I kissed still haunt my memory sometimes, and
be a lot better off without that. Anything that robs attention or privilege
from your spouse (current or future) is something that robs you of a great
deal of joy.

Why don’t you ever talk about marriage-related issues like same-sex
marriage, single parenthood, and divorce rates or offer resources and advice
for people
trying to heal a marriage?

Other sites do that much better than I ever could. My purpose here is to celebrate
marriage, to demonstrate what a deep and abiding joy it can be, and to hear
from others that they love marriage too. I stay away from the negative issues
for the most part because there aren’t many places in the world or the blogosphere
where marriage is embraced rather than mourned.

Are you really the only one celebrating marriage?
Recent years have seen the emergence of a number of blogs that also
celebrate marriage, and even more celebrating parenthood. When I started blogging
over two years ago, I couldn’t find any. Now I have a whole sidebar full of

If you search your iTunes library for song titles containing the letters q and z, how many results do you get?
One: Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin’ by Journey.

You like Journey?
My wife put that on our computer. I swear.

4 thoughts on “Q & A time with Curt

  1. You know what’s a waste about this blog? If the comments section is any indication, about 95% of your readers are women. Why won’t men read something like this and be inspired?

    Back when I was your age :) –maybe younger since I had my first baby at a respectably married 23–I used to listen to Dobson on the radio. But I had to stop listening to him because (1) My husband absolutely did not want to hear about anything he said, and (2) His suggestions for improving marriage just made me feel unsatisfied with my own marriage. Which, actually, is not all that bad a marriage. I mean, my husband loves me and the kids, and he is faithful. He is committed to God and our church. He has a good job and provides well for us. He compliments my cooking and mows the lawn most weeks when he isn’t snowblowing.

    Is there any value in a woman seeing other women get treasured and cherished and doted on? It just kinda makes you struggle with jealousy. Does it set single women up with unrealistic hopes for marriage? If I have a good, faithful, God-fearing husband with a good job, and I am treasured and cherished by my Heavenly Father, I think I need to be satisfied with that. I may need to stop reading your post, simply for the sake of protecting my own satisfaction in the marriage God gave me. That will stink, though, because you have great links. I’ll have to get serious about doing housework and completely renounce the computer. :)

  2. First off, Ruth, I know for a fact that plenty of men read this blog. I for one at first read it as a single man when I was not really dating anybody seriously. I give the columns here some credit for preparing me to meet the love of my life. I continue to read it as a single but now engaged man, and will certainly do so as a married man.

    I also read Dobson’s web site and listen to his show from time to time. I find The Happy Husband to be just as valuable, if not more so, than the nationally reknowned good Doctor Dobson.

    As to your problem with THH leading you to comparison with your own marriage, may I suggest you pick up a copy of Every Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ehtridge. It speaks directly to the issue you are struggling with.

  3. I wonder if the comments ARE an indication. I’m a guy and I read this site. So do Rey and Jerry. Granted, we all know Curt IRL and he got us all into the blogging thing but I’m sure there are other husbands and single guys reading THH.

    Curt, maybe a poll is in order here?

  4. hey! i had my site before Curt! It’s just thaty all the articles belonged to other peeps.

    I wonder what other men read this tho. it is interesting.