A slightly morbid thought

There’s an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where everyone talks
about who their spouse should marry if they die. (Sorry for the poorly constructed
sentence there, what with the abundance of pronouns and the confusing mesh
of antecedents, but I’m too tired to fix it. Hopefully the meaning is clear
anyway.) So I asked my wife who she thought I should marry if she dies. We
discussed several options, but I don’t think any of them would really work
out. I couldn’t come up with even a passable option for her upon the event
of my death. I mean, I’m not really good enough for her myself, and there’s
no one better for her than me.

I can’t imagine marrying someone else if my wife dies before I do, but I don’t
want to be alone. I can’t stand the thought of my wife marrying someone else,
but I don’t want her to be alone if I die before she does. Meh. Death fulfills
the obligation
of the marriage vows. I
figure
the
one
who’s
dead
won’t care one way or the other.

7 thoughts on “A slightly morbid thought

  1. This reminds me of the Bible passage where the pharisees asked Jesus, “If a woman marries the oldest of seven brothers, and he dies, and she marries the next one and he dies, and so on through the seventh, to whom is she married in heaven?” And Jesus said that nobody is married in heaven (Matthew 22:23-33). This kind of bugs me. What about, “Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone,” and the two shall become one, and all that? I think it would (will?) be weird not to be married to my husband in heaven. How can my relationship with him in eternity be just the same as my relationship with every other Christian brother and sister?

  2. I can’t imagine losing my wife. I always pray and thank God for her. I even pray that I get the benefit of her company until we get old. If that changes I can’t really answer your question. It would be a HUGE challenge!

  3. When my Mom came into the Church, she was distressed to learn that there is no marriage in heaven. Our priest soothed her by offering his opinion that while marriage wouldn’t exist in heaven, it doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t know your spouse for who he/she is, and recall the special relationship you had with them in life, and treasure that. That reassured my Mom — she was just afraid that if she got to heaven, she basically wouldn’t recognize my Dad. It reassures me too, to think of it that way. And, of course, you could have more than one significant person in your life, such as if your spouse died and you remarried. You would know them both in heaven, but not be married to either.

    I don’t think either my husband or I mind the thought of each other re-marrying if one of us dies young, but it’s not something we’d plan out. When I agreed to marry my husband, I knew that unless God took me first, I was agreeing to have my heart ripped out when God takes him from me, sooner or later. It’s all part and parcel of loving someone. I pray that it’s “later”, though.

  4. Rubi and I have that talk occasionally… She tells me to remarry, I tell her to remarry.
    Neither of us want to.
    We just hope God takes us both together at the same time so we don’t have to deal.

  5. My wife and I had a similar conversation. I said I would be ok with her remarrying, but then she said I couldn’t! lol. I don’t know if I would want to, would probably depend on how old I was etc. I have seen the episode you spoke of though and I don’t think it would be wise for me to offer future possibilities of who I could marry to my wife or let her pick one, argument waiting to happen that one!

  6. I knew a lovely lady who died after a long illness. Her husband remarried within a year after her passing. His second wife was a very nice young lady who attended our church. My wife and I speculated that she had picked her successor and her husband honored her choice. The second marriage lasted only about 5 years.
    No matter how well we know someone I think it is absurd to think any of us are qualified to choose a mate for anyone. Other cultures have arranged marriages, but ours doesn’t and it doesn’t seem like a good idea to me.

  7. The discussion at my house is which of the kids would look after us after the other is gone (we’re planning on staying around a long time). I think the girls would fight over their mother; but I’m a little worried they’re already picking out nursing homes for me if she should die first!