Murphy’s Law, Curt’s Corollaries

You know those days where everything goes perfectly, where you can do nothing
wrong and even
your
mistakes
make the world a better place? Me neither. I’m well acquainted with the opposite
sort of day, though. Sunday and Monday were both that sort of day for me. Some
things I (re)learned:

  • If something can go wrong, it will.
  • If there are a number of things that can go wrong, the thing that will
    go wrong is the thing that will make you feel stupider than any of the other
    possible wrong things.
  • A church’s air conditioner will choose the first hot—and the most highly
    attended—day of the year to stop working.
  • If you sing in your church’s praise team and you know the words and bass
    line for 49 of the group’s 50 songs, the one song you will be asked to sing
    in front of the church is the one you don’t know.
  • If you try to save money by buying an air conditioner (window unit) that
    has been labeled "return," there will be something wrong with it
    in spite of the stickers on the box proclaiming it fully intact and functional.
    This is especially
    true if:
    1. you have to carry the 63-pound (28.5kg) box up a flight of stairs.
    2. you make the purchase over the misgivings of your wife.
  • If you go back to the store and get replacement parts for the air conditioner,
    you will find when you get them home that they are for a different model
    of air conditioner.
  • If you think you can fix a leaky bathroom faucet, you can’t. (You will
    even completely forget how to spell faucet when called upon to do
    so.)
  • If you mount a waterproof CD player in the shower, it will crash into
    the tub within three minutes.
  • If you try to salvage a bad day by taking your wife out to dinner, the
    food will taste nasty to her pregnancy-enhanced taste buds.
  • If you try to salvage the evening by taking your wife to a movie, you will
    arrive at the movie fifteen minutes late instead of fifteen minutes early
    due to bad information you got from a Web site.
  • If you have a good wife, she will love you even on bad days when you’re
    feeling about two inches (5.08cm) tall.

2 thoughts on “Murphy’s Law, Curt’s Corollaries

  1. This is what my husband would have written:

    *If you decide to do the lawn, the weed eater ‘thread’ will break every 3 ft.
    *If you want to finish the lawn, and so you go to Ace Hardware (that was opened only 2 hours before), it will be closed early for the Holiday.
    *If you want to mow, the lawn mower will flood and even after sitting out for a good 2 hours, refuse to be started again.
    *If you decide then you will assist your wife with dinner, you will continuously drop things on the floor until you have to leave the kitchen or lose your temper.
    *If you decide, after all that, to take your wife to dinner and a movie, the babysitter (cousin) that is ALWAYS available is unavailable.

    After all that he fell into bed at 8:30 right after night-time prayers with the kids.

    :(

  2. I’ve watched my husband have days like that. Not very many, fortunately!

    I have my occasional “everything’s going wrong” days, but they usually self-correct after I realize I’m having a bad day and resign myself to it. I suspect that my husband won’t resign himself to it, and instead keeps trying to fix things, which (because of the Bad Day Law) only means that he will screw more and more stuff up until he’s frustrated and angry and sulking on the couch in front of the TV. Happily, a good night’s sleep generally acts as a Ctrl+Alt+Del for days like that! :-)