A blogger I read regularly once posted a list of things he or she hates. I
think it was Miss
O’Hara, but I couldn’t find the post in question on her
site, so I might be wrong.
stealing picking up that idea and listing 23 things I don’t particularly
like or strongly dislike. In no particular order:
- apple pie
(just don’t like it)
- fans of the New York Yankees
(fair weather blowhards, all of them)
- when something I enjoy becomes so wildly popular that I can’t stand it
(especially when they act like they have a right to the food in my
- college students studying science
(every one of them—there are no
exceptions—thinks he or she is
the smartest person in the world)
- people who think it’s funny to complain about their marriage
(why did they
get married to begin with?)
- American Idol
(it simultaneously fascinates and irritates me, which is unnatural)
- the flagrant misuse of apostrophes
- those days when nothing goes right
- when someone behind me on the road wants
to drive two miles an hour faster than I do
- when someone ahead of me on the road wants to drive two miles an hour
slower than I do
(used to like him a lot, but he went off the deep end during
the 2004 presidential election)
- lame music that gets seemingly infinite radio air time
(it’s like Teletubbies on
acid, which is like peyote on acid)
(note: my spell-check doesn’t recognize Boohbah as an actual word and
suggests replacing it with bloodbath)
- when people obsess, whether positively or negatively, over Rick Warren
(I hesitate to bring this up. Please don’t turn the comments into a PDL
(employers should pay their employees themselves)
- laugh tracks on sitcoms
(if I need to be told when to laugh, it’s probably not funny)
- The Candy Man
(really creeps me out for some reason)
- Disney’s bastardization of Winnie-the-Pooh
(A.A. Milne must be exhausted from so much rolling over in his grave)
- being unemployed
- the laundromat
(can’t wait ’till we have our own house with a washer and dryer…and dishwasher,
- when I forget to put on my watch before leaving the house
(I feel lost and naked without it—not a good combination)
Jenna asked in the comments
why I so dislike the way Disney ruined Winnie-the-Pooh. Let me say that the
Pooh books are my favorite books. They, after the Bible, would be my desert
island books, if I had a choice. When Disney got the rights to the stories,
the company turned rich characters into cheery, one-dimensional caricatures
devoid of any real personality and thereby robbed the stories of any style
whatsoever. Take for instance this exchange (gleaned from IMDB) from the Disney
and Tigger Too! after Tigger and Roo have become stuck at the top
of a tall tree.
Christopher Robin: You’re next, Tigger. Jump!
Tigger: Jump? Tiggers don’t jump. They bounce.
Pooh: Then bounce down.
Tigger: Oh, don’t be ridickerous. Tiggers only bounce up!
Christopher Robin: You can climb down, Tigger.
Tigger: Uh, Tiggers can’t climb down, uh… because, uh… their tails get
in the way!
Rabbit: Hooray! That settles it. If he won’t jump, and he can’t climb down,
then we’ll just have to leave him up there FOREVER!
I guess the people in charge at Disney thought that was funny. Here’s a scene
from the same basic story in The House at Pooh Corner, Chapter IV, In Which
It Is Shown That Tiggers Don’t Climb Trees:
Christopher Robin looked up at Tigger and Roo, and tried to think of something.
"I thought," said Piglet earnestly, "that if Eeyore stood
at the bottom of the tree, and if Pooh stood on Eeyore’s back, and if I stood
on Pooh’s shoulders—"
"And if Eeyore’s back snapped suddenly, then we could all laugh. Ha ha!
Amusing in a quiet way," said Eeyore, "but not really helpful."
"Well," said Piglet meekly, "I thought—"
"Would it break your back, Eeyore?" asked Pooh, very much surprised.
"That’s what would be so interesting, Pooh. Not being quite sure till afterwards."
Judge for yourself whether Disney captured or even respected the spirit of
the source material.