Marriage links for the week

You may have heard a noise last Sunday. It was both horrible and glorious, and
it was heard round the world.
It
was the sound of hearts
simultaneously breaking and rejoicing all across the
blogosphere
.
The
lucky guy
is putting me to shame, though, having listed 300
reasons he loves
his dear one
. I’m only up to 90.

Jason points out that marriage
education
is more important than ever for people
who have not good role models in marriage.

Ben Wilson speaks some difficult
truths
about healing a broken marriage.

Adrian Warnock celebrates ten
years with his wife
.

Steve Lynch continues his review of the book Covenant Marriage with Chapter
4: What’s So Important About Intimacy?

Speaking of childhood misperceptions,
an article in Christianity Today explains
how
"throughout childhood, we all received millions of messages from Mom,
Pop, brothers, sisters, teachers, classmates, and kids next door that told
us who we ‘are.’ As children we tend to believe them, and then as
adults we allow them to affect how we interpret life events and other people."
And furthermore, "when a distorted notion of self attempts to connect with
a fantasized mate, neither person is likely to find satisfaction."

Danielle celebrates her ninth anniversary with ruminations on her and her
husband’s collective
dorkiness
.

I think Johnny Depp is among the few truly great actors of this day, even
if his personal philosophy about marriage is sort of…shall we say…flawed.
I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt and say his heart seems to
be in the right place. I hope to explore this further in a future post.

Bowden McElroy lists four
common triggers
for marital arguments, then begins expanding
on the first
.

Kari takes a numerical
look
at hear marriage.

Please read
my post
at Peachwater, Tx. Not everyone will relate to it, but
hopefully it’s entertaining anyway.

His and Hers: Love in the morning

His and Hers is a weekly discussion of a question or topic relating
to marriage. On Friday, my wife and I each write our thoughts on the week’s
topic. I invite others to do the same with their spouses as an exercise in
celebrating marriage.

What is your favorite part of the morning?

Mrs. Happy’s response

Since being married, my favorite part of the morning has always been snuggling
with my husband before we get out of bed. I like that even more now, because
we can both feel our baby moving around.

Curt’s response

I enjoy the peaceful vulnerability of the early morning snuggle as well, but
I also currently enjoy one of the few benefits of unemployment: that ability
to go back to sleep after my wife leaves for work.

23 childhood misperceptions

When we’re learning new things, we have to relate them to things we already
know. That’s why Jesus used parables in his teachings. Sometimes, though, our
current understanding gets in the way of gaining new knowledge. This leads
to misunderstandings that can turn tragic in adulthood but are often endearing
and hilarious in children. I’m sure I had a lot more than 23 misperceptions
in my own childhood, but I could only think of 14, and my friends and loved
ones could collectively think of only seven. I’m hoping that two of you will
leave your
own contributions
in the comments so this post’s title isn’t completely inaccurate.

  • Songs I heard on the radio were being performed live at the radio stations
    by the bands themselves. (I actually decided that when I could drive,
    I would hang out at a radio station so that I could meet Huey Lewis.)
  • I could make the stars bounce by jumping high in the air and stomping on
    the ground. They really looked like they were bouncing.
  • The old hymn Power in the Blood mentioned my grampa R.E. in the
    line "Would you o’er evil a victory win."
  • That wasn’t really Spider-Man in that cartoon. It was just a guy in a costume.
  • Santa Clause himself could not visit every mall in America simultaneously
    around Christmastime. Even if he could, he was too busy with his preparations.
    So he sent certain helpers to dress like him, listen to children’s
    requests, and relay the messages to the North Pole. I never could figure
    out how he
    made Tonka trucks and Hot-Wheels cars in his workshop, though.
  • The Spanish language was basically just English, except you have to say el in
    front of a word and add -o to the end of the word.
    Hence, my Spanish word for paper sack was el papersacko.
    That knowledge coupled with the fact that I could count to ten in actual
    Spanish made me confident that I could converse with any Spanish-speaker
    I might meet.
  • Teachers don’t exist outside of school.
  • The evolution of civilized society culminated in the music and fashion
    of the 1980s. After that, there would be no more advances possible.
  • People who "don’t drink" literally never put fluids
    into their body. If anyone had asked me, "Do you drink?", I would
    have said, "Yes. I can’t even go one day without drinking."
  • Every grown man has killed at least one person. (I deduced this from watching
    a lot of TV.)
  • Writing consisted of scribbling on paper. I started writing before I even
    knew the alphabet, and I couldn’t understand why my mother seemed not
    to be able to read what I wrote.
  • All moms and dads led singing and played piano at church the way my parents
    did.
  • In order to "hold your breath," one simply puffs out one’s cheeks and holds
    breath inside the mouth but continues to breathe through the nose.
    I could hold my breath forever.
  • When a baby is born, it just bursts out of the mother’s stomach.
  • Mrs. Happy: You know how some people can imitate
    the sound of a drop of water by flicking their cheek with their fingers?
    Only two people in the
    world could do that, and my father was one of them.
  • Mrs. Happy: My dad’s job at work was taking out
    the trash. I knew this because when we drove by his office he said, "That’s where I work," and
    pointed to a door that was next to a dumpster. (He was actually a computer
    programmer.)
  • Happy Sister: A group of goblins slept in our
    garage during the day and walked around the back yard at night. (My
    brother told me this.)
  • Happy Bro-in-Law No. 1: It’s against the law
    to kick a basketball.
  • MCF:
    I thought every bad thing happens to everybody at least once like the
    Chicken Pox. For a time I entertained the notion that things like getting
    hit by
    a car
    or
    getting bit by a dog were similar rites of passage I’d inevitably have
    to go
    through at some point. Neither ever happened though I’ve come close,
    so I guess I don’t have an immunity to either.
  • Jeff:
    According to my sister, pill
    bugs
    were medicine.
  • Jeff:
    I thought I could be a dump truck when I grew up.

Ugh

I purchased Mac OS X 10.4 this past weekend. I’ve spent two days trying to get my computer to recognize the installation DVD. It still doesn’t work. Until it does, it’s going to be very difficult for me to post much. Thank you for your patience.

Update: If you don’t hear from me for a week, it’s because I’ve chewed off my own head. Sometimes I love computers, but sometimes…

Update: I finally got it fixed by using a friend’s computer to copy the install disk onto my iPod, then installing the OS from my iPod. Now I’m just trying to figure out how to use this new operating system.

Marriage links for the week

Derek
and his wife
did the Completing each other’s sentences exercise
that Mrs.
Happy and I did a few weeks ago.
Mopsy also did it with her husband.

Steve Lynch continues his chapter-by-chapter review of Covenant Marriage with
chapter 3, which explores the
feasibility of covenant marriage
(as opposed
to contract marriage), especially in Western society.

Soldado de Oracion list the top
ten reasons God created Eve
.

Kim shares a minor revelation she
had during the final premarital counseling session with her husband-to-be.
She also wonders about omens
concerning the success of a marriage
. (Thanks to Irene for both links.)

Some kids are real brats. Other kids are…well…goodness. Read
this
.

Twenty-nine years later, Katy remembers the
first date
she had with her husband.

His and Hers: Grammar gaffes

His and Hers is a weekly discussion of a question or topic relating
to marriage. On Friday, my wife and I each write our thoughts on the week’s
topic. I invite others to do the same with their spouses as an exercise in
celebrating marriage.

What is your biggest pet peeve where grammar is concerned?

Mrs. Happy’s response

It drives me crazy when people use the word set when they mean sit,
and vice versa. I was always annoyed in my elementary English classes when
we had to do exercise after exercise filling in blanks with sit and set to
practice how they are used in a sentence. I just thought to myself, "Who would
ever say ‘I will sit this glass on the table and set next to it.’?" Since then,
I have met several people who are sitting and setting improperly all over the
place, and like I said, it drives me crazy.

Curt’s response

The word its is a possessive pronoun that means "belonging to it."
The word it’s is a contraction of the two words it and is.
Though its and it’s have identical pronunciations, they are
two distinct words and are not interchangeable.

Some marriage quotes

I’m tired and lazy today, so instead of writing something, I’m just offering
some things that others have said. I don’t know most of the people quoted or
their general philosophies, so do not take their inclusion here as an endorsement
on my part. If you know of any good quotes about love and marriage, please
leave them in the
comments.

"What you are as a single person, you will be as a married person, only
to a greater degree. Any negative character trait will be intensified in a
marriage relationship,
because you will feel free to let your guard down—that person has committed
himself to you and you no longer have to worry about scaring him off."
—Josh McDowell, The Secret of Loving

"Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have
been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle."
—Sam Levenson

"For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably
the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked."
—Bill Cosby

"Marriage—as its veterans know well—is the continuous process of
getting used to things you hadn’t expected."
—Tom Mullen

"The middle years of marriage are the most crucial. In the early years,
spouses want each other and in late years, they need each other."
—Rebecca Tilly

"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom
when we love the ones we marry."
—Tom Mullen

"Wen you’re a married man, Samivel, you’ll understand a
good many things as you don’t understand now; but vether it’s worth
while goin’ through so much to learn so little, as the charity-boy said
ven he got to the end of the alphabet, is a matter o’ taste."
—Charles Dickens, The Pickwick Papers

A glimpse of the future

We went to the hospital for a detailed sonogram earlier today and found out
that we have a healthy baby boy. He’s absolutely the most precious thing in
the world,
and even the doctor says he’s "perfect." Nothing could have prepared me for
what I saw in that sonogram: beating heart, fully formed brain, round tummy,
little
legs,
little
feet,
little
hands
with
wiggling
fingers that curled up and pointed as if he were making forceful arguments.
I’m astounded by the wonder of it all. I have a son growing inside the woman
I
love. If this experience gets any more powerful, I may explode from all the
emotion. Heaven help me when this baby is actually born.

Speaking of which, I have no idea what I’m going to do with this baby. When
I imagine having a baby in the house, I see things like lying on the couch
while he takes a nap on my chest. I see myself singing to him as he lies on
his back in the crib, smiling and kicking his legs. I see Mrs. Happy feeding
him while I marvel at her angelic beauty. It’s all quite peaceful.

I’m afraid I’m in for something of a shock. A few weeks ago, I mentioned to Rey (who has two children of his own) that
"I sure hope having a kid will be easier than building a Web site." I was mostly
kidding when I said it. Mostly. I know children are more
complex than Web browsers. But Web technology can be maddeningly
difficult—a fact I tend to blame on
Microsoft.
And
Bill Gates has nothing to do with how my son acts, right? I shudder
to think that any child of mine might behave as poorly and obstinately as Internet
Explorer. Even so, I think Rey may still be laughing at me.

The reason for the day

Today is U.S. Independence Day, the day when we celebrate the signing of the
Declaration
of Independence
from England. Perhaps the most famous passage in
the Declaration is this:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that
they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among
these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Many people today—those who insist that government and God have nothing to
do with each other—seem to forget that this country’s founding fathers based
everything on the fact that individuals have rights because God created
us all in his image. When you insist that God
and any reference to him be removed from public life, you do away with the
very reason life has value and people have rights.

Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to
Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the
birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every
creeping thing that creeps on the earth."

God created man in His own
image,
in the image of God He created him;
male
and female He created them.

God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be
fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the
fish of the sea and over
the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth."

Then God said, "Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed
that is on the surface of all the earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding
seed; it shall be food for you; and to every beast of the earth and to
every bird of the sky and to every thing that moves on the earth which has
life, I have given every green
plant
for food"; and it was so.

God saw all that He had made, and behold,
it was very good. (Gen. 1:26–31)

Many people today—people who like to think marriage is whatever they say it
is—also
forget that marriage has value because it was instituted by God.
That’s
not
in the
Declaration
or
the
Constitution,
unfortunately,
but
that fact doesn’t make it less true. God created a woman to be a helper for
the man. He created her from the man’s flesh, and fashioned her so that the
two could "become one flesh" again.

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I
will make him a helper suitable for him."

…So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept;
then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD
God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man,
and
brought her to the man.

The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man."

For this reason a man shall leave his
father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one
flesh. (Gen. 2:18, 22–24)

I have never understood how atheists and agnostics don’t fall into utter despair
the moment they examine life and ask "Why". I have never understood why someone
who doesn’t believe in God would want to be married. I guess it must have something
to do with various combinations of materialism, hedonism, altruism, loneliness,
hope, and legal benefits, but in my mind none of those can stand against the
fact
that
nothing
means
anything unless it comes from God. I just pray that my child can grow up in
a world that worships God, or at least acknowledges him.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD,
The people whom He has chosen for His own inheritance.
(Psalm 33:12)