Marriage links for the week

Mark Daniels shares a message he delivered for a
wedding ceremony
.

Charmaine Yoest celebrates her 15th
wedding anniversary
.

Shannon Woodward tells her grandparents’
beautiful love story
. (Thanks to Irene for this link and the two previous.)

Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr., members of the
60s group The Fifth Dimension, discuss the importance
of being friends
both
before
and throughout marriage.

Bowden McElroy has some good things to say about being a
father of daughters
. (No, we don’t know our baby’s sex yet.)

Tim Challies explains why he’s so glad his
wife is an anti-feminist
.

Perri posts her own Where
I’m From
poem, as does Heather.
Great stuff, and I’ve added their links to the Where
We’re From
page.

His and Hers: Talents

His and Hers is a weekly discussion of a question or topic relating
to marriage. On Friday, my wife and I each write our thoughts on the week’s
topic. I invite others to do the same with their spouses as an exercise in
celebrating marriage.

What talent do you not have that you wish you had?

Mrs. Happy’s response

Playing the piano.

Curt’s response

Learning new languages.

Easy as 1-2-3

I am too tired to write anything. I’m almost too tired to think. But I’ve
already written an RLTB post this week, and skipped one day entirely. Usually
in a situation
such as this I just list 23 strange
things
, write
about something random, or ask
myself
some questions
.
I don’t have the energy to do those things right now, though, so I’m tearing
a page out of Bryan’s
book
and following a mindless meme. This particular one directs you to type
every letter
in
the alphabet in your
address bar and share the link that is automatically filled in, then add a reason
why
to
explain
or defend yourself.

  • A: atimelikethis.net because I get homesick sometimes
  • B: Blogger because even though I’m on WordPress now, it’s
    hard staying away
  • C: CoffeeSwirls because I love the smell of brewing coffee even if I can’t
    stand to taste it
  • D: The Dallas Morning News because I thought their classifieds might help
    me find a job (they didn’t)
  • E: Earthlink because
    I switched to high-speed and needed to know how to cancel my service
  • F: a 404 page on FeatureWeb,
    British Columbia’s Web directory, for no reason I can think of
  • G: Gmail because Google kicks spam’s butt
  • H: Amy’s
    Humble Musings
    because Amy’s baby likes C.S. Lewis and she gave a "porkpie"
    tip to Jollyblogger…both in the same post
  • I: ireneQ • unravelled because
    Irene is my bigblogsister
  • J: jobsearch.monster.com because
    even though I’m working, I’m still unemployed
  • K: King of Fools because
    he’s great…and he was the only K suggested by the auto-fill
  • L: Lebhar-Friedman,
    Inc. (employment page)
    for the same
    reason as Monster.com
  • M: MCF’s
    Nexus of Improbability
    because I visit the Nexus
    more than I look up words
  • N: Netflix because I’m through with Blockbuster
  • O: One World Hosting because
    they’re the best
  • P: Peachwater,
    Tx.
    because I’m forever optimistic that the 58th Annual Peachwater
    Festival will actually take place next weekend (there’s not even a link
    to Festival news on the front page—that’s a bad sign)
  • Q: Quixado because
    (I can only assume) I was following a link on the
    Nexus
  • R: Roger
    Ebert
    because he seems to actually understand the art
    of film
  • S: Sitemeter because I blog
  • T: Technorati for the same reason
  • U: University of Massachussets
    Amherst
    because my brother-in-law
    was just accepted there
  • V: Verizon because
    I needed affordable high-speed Internet access
  • W: Amy’s
    World of Random Thoughts
    because she’s my friend, and there’s no such
    thing as too many Amys
  • X: Miss
    O’Hara
    …no explanation needed (except that she’s on Xanga, which is why
    the letter X took me to her blog)
  • Y: y not? (apparently I’ve never browsed a URL that begins
    with Y)
  • Z: Zackvision because
    I wanted to import my Haloscan comments into WordPress and Zack seems to
    have done that successfully…I, of course, haven’t

The beginning or the end?

I was talking to some people the other day when one of the women in the conversation
commented that she was extremely detail-oriented. One of the men replied, "Heaven
help you if you ever get married. You’ll make life hell for everyone." It was
odd, because these two have a friendly relationship that does not usually include
cruel insults. We all sat dumbfounded for a moment before someone asked
him to clarify. He said women who are detail-oriented by nature become nearly
psychotic when their wedding is on the line. That much, of course, is true,
and most women readily admit as much. His insult, then, was not cruel as much
as it was poking fun at the stereotype of an obsessive bride-to-be.

The confusion came because he equated
marriage with planning a wedding. Apparently that attitude is spreading. I
certainly have known women who marry questionable men just for the privilege
of being "queen for a day." I have also known men who think their husbandly
duties consist of saying "I do" in front of witnesses. I suppose that’s to
be expected in a time when a wedding is typically a blip in the history of
a relationship rather than a defining moment and the beginning of a new story.

In my opinion, the primary purpose of a wedding is for a couple to
publicly declare a lifelong commitment to each other. A secondary purpose is
to reaffirm the value of marriage in society. A tertiary purpose is to have
a lot of fun and celebrate life and love. Whatever its purpose, a wedding should
be the beginning of a marriage, not the whole of it.

On a similar note, Miss
O’Hara
recently linked to a news
article
that quoted
Miss Manners: "Are you planning your wedding so that it will be perfect in
every detail? Do you expect it to be the happiest day of your life? Miss
Manners sincerely hopes not. Few of those who prattle about that ‘happiest
day’ seem to consider
the dour expectations this suggests about the marriage from its second day
on."

RLTB

I’m doing some freelance work this week that takes up eight hours of my day. Now I’m wondering how I ever had time to blog when I had a full-time job. I’m also wondering if I’ll ever have time to blog once my baby’s born. For now, though, I just need to sleep. While I still can.

Marriage links for the week

Writing and Living discusses the benefits and drawbacks of working
from home
.
(Thanks to Irene for the link.)

Rey‘s new daughter Elayna
has posted some thoughts on how she is adjusting to life
outside the womb
, and how her three-year-old brother is adjusting to
her. Now that she’s blogging, I wonder how long it will take her to follow
in her father’s footsteps and be accused of heresy by blogosphere Calvinists.

My friend Jeff reached a milestone this week when he wrote his 500th
post
on Peachwater, Tx.
I used the occasion to look back at his first post and found that it was almost
entirely about me
.

Amy Scott posted a
picture of her baby
that I hope to duplicate with my own
some day.

Doug, of Marginal Comments, explains how marriage should be beautiful
and new
every day.

Bloggers’ reviews of Created
to Be His Help Meet
continue:

His and Hers: The big blowoff

His and Hers is a weekly discussion of a question or topic relating
to marriage. On Friday, my wife and I each write our thoughts on the week’s
topic. I invite others to do the same with their spouses as an exercise in
celebrating marriage.

Before you were married, what is the lamest excuse
someone gave you for not going on a date with you?

Mrs. Happy’s response

"I have to work on my bird house."

Curt’s response

"I’m sorry, but I’m walking home this weekend." (This was
at a college in northern Indiana, and the girl’s home was in Ann Arbor, Michigan."

Celebrating marriage in the valley

I received the following message via e-mail yesterday:

Hello. My name is Jeff and I wanted to let you know that I really like reading
your blog. I enjoy thinking about marriage especially now that I’m not married
anymore. I don’t share this because I’m looking for a pity-party but really
because I have a message to men to VALUE and make their wives feel like a
PRINCESS everyday – because you never know how long you have together. My
wife was diagnosed
with cancer 3 years ago and I am coming up on the 2nd anniversary of her
death. I have two small boys, 6 and 4 and my 6-year-old has Downs Syndrome.
You know,
I never thought it would happen to me, and I would wish the pain I’ve been
through on no one. But, if I had a message, it would be to tell husbands
everywhere to cherish their wives everyday. Sara and I had a wonderful marriage,
but I
struggled after her death wishing I had read one less novel or watched one
less TV show to have just ONE more conversation with her. I would give anything
just to look into her eyes and tell her how wonderful she is.

I am a walking
testimony that God does carry us through the valley of the shadow of death
and even when we feel like we can’t take one more step, He is still
there. I hope that someday I will experience love again. But I am also learning
to be content that God is enough for me each day.

I can’t add anything to that. I’m going to go spend some time with my wife.

Welcome!

Thank you for visiting my new location. It’s a fixer-upper with a lot of work left to do, but I like it. I have to manually apply categories to several hundred posts, find a way to port the comments over, and make some tweaks to the appearance. It should look pretty good as it stands, though. If you have any problems viewing this site, please drop me an e-mail (happy at atimelikethis dot net) and let me know what browser and operating system you’re using. Posting may be light for a while as I try to fine-tune this thing.

Reasons I love my wife, 71–80

Ten more reasons:

  • Her beauty and the force of her presence do not allow me to ever take her
    for granted.
  • No matter how tired or irritable she is, she doesn’t even flinch when I
    say I want to sing to the baby in her abdomen.
  • She adores me even when there’s no reason for it.
  • The sight of a cherry tree in bloom fills her with wonder.
  • Her come-hither expression makes me weak in the knees.
  • The state of my employment has nothing to do with my value to her.
  • She thinks she doesn’t deserve me and doesn’t realize that I don’t deserve
    her.
  • She understands my jokes and thinks they’re funny.
  • She doesn’t hold it against me (for long) when she dreams that I’m mean
    to her.
  • She just called up the stairs and asked if I wanted to kiss her before
    she started her shower.