His and Hers is a question or discussion topic relating to marriage that I post every Tuesday or Wednesday. On Friday, my wife and I each write our thoughts on the topic. I invite other bloggers to do the same with their spouses as an exercise in celebrating marriage. This week’s question is:
What is something your spouse has taught you?
Mrs. Happy’s response
When I first considered this question, I was thinking mostly in terms of life lessons, or even practical skills that I’ve learned from Curt since we’ve been married. I thought long and hard about it for a few days, and this morning it came to me in a half-sleep while Curt was stroking my hair and telling me how beautiful I am: He taught me how I need to be treated. When I was younger, fantasizing about my future husband, I thought I had pretty high standards. This man would have to be cute, intelligent, funny, considerate, affectionate, etc., but I never quite envisioned how exactly he should make me feel, nor did I recognize it when it actually occurred during our happy “just friends” phase. Curt treated me like a queen. He would always put my needs before his, and I could count on him for anything and everything. He showered me with compliments, affection, and affirmation. I could go on and on about all the ways that he exceeded all my expectations, but I couldn’t possibly do them justice. The bottom line is that since those very first moments of our friendship, I have felt increasingly more beautiful and more precious than in any other time of my life. I never would have known I could feel this way had Curt not taught me that it is possible.
Short answer: My wife taught me how to be a husband.
Longer answer: My wife taught me how to love a wife and, specifically, how to love her. Before we got married, I was afraid I would be a terrible husband. I didn’t even know how to begin taking care of someone, or even whether “taking care” was part of my job. I just knew that I wanted to build a life with one particular woman. In the months leading up to our wedding, we went through eight weeks of pre-marital counseling and spent as much time together as we could. During that time, she communicated how I made her feel in various situations, sometimes good and sometimes not-so-good. I learned to avoid making her feel bad and, more importantly, how to purposefully make her feel loved. I’m still learning, and it’s my favorite lesson ever.