Marriage links for the week

You may have heard a noise last Sunday. It was both horrible and glorious, and
it was heard round the world.
It
was the sound of hearts
simultaneously breaking and rejoicing all across the
blogosphere
.
The
lucky guy
is putting me to shame, though, having listed 300
reasons he loves
his dear one
. I’m only up to 90.

Jason points out that marriage
education
is more important than ever for people
who have not good role models in marriage.

Ben Wilson speaks some difficult
truths
about healing a broken marriage.

Adrian Warnock celebrates ten
years with his wife
.

Steve Lynch continues his review of the book Covenant Marriage with Chapter
4: What’s So Important About Intimacy?

Speaking of childhood misperceptions,
an article in Christianity Today explains
how
"throughout childhood, we all received millions of messages from Mom,
Pop, brothers, sisters, teachers, classmates, and kids next door that told
us who we ‘are.’ As children we tend to believe them, and then as
adults we allow them to affect how we interpret life events and other people."
And furthermore, "when a distorted notion of self attempts to connect with
a fantasized mate, neither person is likely to find satisfaction."

Danielle celebrates her ninth anniversary with ruminations on her and her
husband’s collective
dorkiness
.

I think Johnny Depp is among the few truly great actors of this day, even
if his personal philosophy about marriage is sort of…shall we say…flawed.
I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt and say his heart seems to
be in the right place. I hope to explore this further in a future post.

Bowden McElroy lists four
common triggers
for marital arguments, then begins expanding
on the first
.

Kari takes a numerical
look
at hear marriage.

Please read
my post
at Peachwater, Tx. Not everyone will relate to it, but
hopefully it’s entertaining anyway.

Marriage links for the week

Lori bemoans the fact that dating has come to be viewed as more
serious than
marriage
.

Rey praises
his wife
, sincerely and specifically.

Bryan and Kelli celebrate
their tenth anniversary
together.

Chuck Colson talks about how churches
can take an active role
in reducing
divorce rates, and Mark Early offers his
thoughts on the same topic
. (ht: Miss O’Hara.)

Steve Lynch continues his review of Gary Chapman’s book Covenant Marriage.
This week is devoted to Chapter 2, which explains how
a covenant differs from a contract
, and why marriages should be based on the former rather than the
latter.

Stacy L. Harp comments on the rise of pre-engagement
counseling
.

Byron
Harvey
has responded to my request for ideas on ministering to pastors. You
can see all the responses on the permanent
page
(link in the left-hand sidebar).

Oh, and Jeff got his
picture in the paper
for witnessing the winning spit
in a watermelon seed spitting contest.

Marriage links for the week

Here’s
an issue
I’ve never really blogged about—and maybe never will—but
Marla acknowledges it with grace and the soul of wit, as usual.

Steve begins his chapter-by-chapter
review
of the book Covenant Marriage by
Gary Chapman.

Tony says, quite rightly: "I’ve decided that weddings are big, sweaty, expensive
rolling disasters, and it’s a wonder that we do them, yet most of us are glad
we did, which I guess is kind of like marriage itself."

This
post
by Katy probably relates to marriage in some obscure way that I’m
too lazy to decipher. It’s a very good post, though, so read it.

Jollyblogger has responded
to my request
for advice on treating pastors well.
I’ve also added the link to the permanent
page
that collects all the responses.

Marriage links for the week

A child asks you whether a cohabiting couple is married. How do you answer the
question? Marla
tackles the issue
from all sides and discovers some additional
questions she must answer for herself before she can adequately explain the situation
for her 8-year-old.

Bowden McElroy has made a career out of dealing with marital issues and counseling
people in matters of the spirit and mind. If he
can’t read his wife’s thoughts
,
then I don’t feel so bad about my failure in that area.

There wasn’t much about marriage in the blogosphere this week. I did get some
more responses from pastors regarding ways a congregation can encourage a pastor.
Check out the links on the
permanent page
, which now include links from pastors Peter
Bogert
, Jason
Dollar
, Bowden
McElroy
(with two more parts),
Pat Morley,
and
Pastor
Russ
.

Marriage links for the week

Miss O’Hara is upset by the state of masculinity in the modern world and reminds
us of what men were like
before Queer Eye.

Steve Lynch begins
his review
of the book Covenant Marriage: Building Communication
and Intimacy
by Gary Chapman.

Jollyblogger
reviews
Julie Ann Fidler’s (of Fidler
on the Roof
) new book Adventures
in Holy Matrimony: For Better or the Absolute Worst
. I have my own
copy and plan to offer
my own review
some time next week.

Keith Plummer advises
people contemplating marriage
to "consider what their
expectations of each other are and to enter into the covenant of marriage with
their eyes open to each others faults." He also reviews the
book Spiritual Relationships That Last: What the Bible Says About Dating
and
Marriage
.

Rey’s wife explains
Jesus
to their three-year-old son.

Marriage links for the week

A British couple celebrates their 80th
wedding anniversary
. Their advice to young
couples: "[D]on’t sleep on an argument, always share a kiss and hold hands before
going to bed." (Link
via
Amy Scott.)

Rey ponders the
source of love
in marriage.

Matt Hall responds to Henry Cloud’s assertion that dating has nothing
to do with marriage
.

John
Schroeder
and Jeff
the Baptist
both respond to the psychological study
of marriage success that I mentioned earlier this week.

Rick at Kingdom Agenda celebrates his ninth
wedding anniversary
and offers
his own advice on how to build a successful marriage.

Jollyblogger reviews the book Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect
It by Jerry Jenkins
.

Marriage links for the week

Maggie shares a powerful
story of how grace and forgiveness toward her husband have turned her life
around: "God has changed
me. I think
he’s
just
handed
me
the miracle I’ve been waiting for, though it looks nothing like what
I thought I needed. I know I need to go to my husband and tell him how wrong
I’ve
been. I want to ask his forgiveness." Read
the whole thing
.
Seriously, read
the whole thing
.

Nancy and her husband recently celebrated their 25th
wedding anniversary
.
We will celebrate our seventh on Monday, and it sounds like we already have
a lot in common with them.

Julie Anne Fidler offers some thoughts on the
value of commitment
in the face
of divorce-level difficulties.

Violet outlines how respect
for her husband
and other Biblical principles
help her decide how personal to be on her blog. (Thanks to Irene for this link
as well as the previous three.)

If you look in the sidebar under the Marriage-Friendly heading you’ll
see a new link to a blog called Lessons
From the Road
. It’s written by Steve and is devoted to writings about marriage
and parenting. If I linked to the relevant posts there, it would end up looking
like an archive listing for the entire blog, so just go ahead and check
out the whole site
.

An article in The Detroit News explains how marrying for love creates
some interesting
social paradoxes
. (Link via Miss
O’Hara
, who also links to a great excerpt
from the book Your Wife Ain’t Your Momma.)

Marriage links for the week

Mark Daniels shares a message he delivered for a
wedding ceremony
.

Charmaine Yoest celebrates her 15th
wedding anniversary
.

Shannon Woodward tells her grandparents’
beautiful love story
. (Thanks to Irene for this link and the two previous.)

Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr., members of the
60s group The Fifth Dimension, discuss the importance
of being friends
both
before
and throughout marriage.

Bowden McElroy has some good things to say about being a
father of daughters
. (No, we don’t know our baby’s sex yet.)

Tim Challies explains why he’s so glad his
wife is an anti-feminist
.

Perri posts her own Where
I’m From
poem, as does Heather.
Great stuff, and I’ve added their links to the Where
We’re From
page.

Marriage links for the week

Writing and Living discusses the benefits and drawbacks of working
from home
.
(Thanks to Irene for the link.)

Rey‘s new daughter Elayna
has posted some thoughts on how she is adjusting to life
outside the womb
, and how her three-year-old brother is adjusting to
her. Now that she’s blogging, I wonder how long it will take her to follow
in her father’s footsteps and be accused of heresy by blogosphere Calvinists.

My friend Jeff reached a milestone this week when he wrote his 500th
post
on Peachwater, Tx.
I used the occasion to look back at his first post and found that it was almost
entirely about me
.

Amy Scott posted a
picture of her baby
that I hope to duplicate with my own
some day.

Doug, of Marginal Comments, explains how marriage should be beautiful
and new
every day.

Bloggers’ reviews of Created
to Be His Help Meet
continue:

Marriage links for the week

My friend Rey now has a daughter! He witnessed the surreal birth thanks to either
divine intervention
or a malfunctioning cell phone
.
In any case, it’s a great story.

Speaking of Rey, he pointed me to a great post at Wittingshire, a wonderful
family-celebrating blog. The post explores what happens when the allure of
bikinis meets the
logic of an eight-year-old boy
.

Bloggers’ reviews of Created
to Be His Help Meet
continue:

DrMR at Eternal Perspectives illustrates how Christians must sometimes suffer
even
in marriage
.

Milton Stanley at Transforming
Sermons
compares the
commitment to a spouse with the commitment to Christ
, which is scary when one considers the Christian
divorce rate.

Cabin Master (sort of) discusses her thoughts on interracial
marriage
, prompted by a post by Steven
J. Kelso
.


In my meme
post
on Wednesday, I failed to mention a couple of things:

  • If I could be a brain surgeon, I’d take every possible opportunity
    to say, "Come on, people! This isn’t rocket science."
  • If I could be a rocket scientist, I’d take every possible opportunity to say,
    "Come on, people! This isn’t brain surgery."
  • If I could be both a brain surgeon and a rocket scientist, I’d add, "Trust
    me. I know."

That would be so worth it.