Marriage links for the week

Mrs. Happy and I just returned from TheWriteJerry‘s wedding and reception,
where we shared a table with my geek friends MCF and Rey,
along with Rey’s wife and two kids, who are both absolutely adorable.

Mark wonders how much Christians harm themselves when they fill their minds with
entertainment
that trivializes marriage
. (Thanks to Irene for the link.)

After a short hiatus, Steve Lynch resumes his chapter-by-chapter review of
the book Covenant Marriage with Chapter
11: Priorities and Goals
.

Speaking of reviewing a book, Ben Wilson is getting ready to write a series
of posts
on the book Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect
He Desperately Needs
. I have a copy of that, and may write some about it myself.

Marriage links for the week

Derek explains how he and his wife occupy
opposite ends
of an emotional spectrum.

Becky had decided to leave her husband. She packed a bag and went to her mother’s
house, 14-month-old son in tow. Her mother said "Before you leave Bill,
I have one task for you to complete." She divided a sheet
of paper in half and told Becky to write down a list of her husband’s bad qualities
on the left-hand side. The list on the right-hand side, she says, saved her
marriage. And it’s probably not
what you think
.

Jason writes about how no
marriage is perfect
, but every marriage can be healthy.

Lori points out that she’s not listing 100 reasons she loves her husband,
but rather 100 things she loves about her husband. It’s a point well taken,
and I wish I’d thought about that when I was writing my list. Anyway, she shares
list items Nos.
31–40
this week.

Bowden McElroy explains how husbands and wives tend to view sexual
rejection
differently, and how couples tend to think of disagreements
about sex
on a different level than other arguments.

Marriage links for the week

Before we were married, Mrs. Happy read a book called Passion
and Purity
by Elisabeth
Elliot. It is perhaps the most timeless and essential book on Christian courtship
ever written. Paula read the book recently and offers
an excellent review
, along
with some insightful thoughts of her own.

Kari offered a guest post
at This Beautiful Mess recently
explaining how the reality of marriage shatters
preconceived illusions
while building
up a foundation of joy in love. (Big thanks to Lori for the link.)

Speaking of Lori, she’s striking out at the world’s negativity about marriage
with her own list of 100 Reasons She Loves Her Husband. Following my lead (she
calls me a "ringleader"—I’ve never been called that before), she’s listing
her reasons ten at a time: here are 1–10, 11–20, and 21–30.

First I see that someone considers me a "ringleader," then I find out that
my blog "inspired" someone. Heady stuff, that. Anyway, /Tim offers a creative
take on the whole "list of ten" idea and offers several
such lists about his wife
.

Rey examines what Paul meant when he said that spouses
have authority over
each other’s bodies
.

Rebecca came up with the truly inspired idea of writing limericks based on
Proverbs. Her first offering dealt specifically with marriage, but go
to her blog and read them all
:

The man who is wise in this life
Values character o’er skill in a wife.
Much better a diet
Of dry bread, with quiet,
Than a house full of feasting with strife. (Proverbs
17:1
)

Derek thinks about the responsibility associated with his becoming
one flesh
with his wife.

Marriage links for the week

Mopsy, on the day before her wedding anniversary, recalls how her wedding
rehearsal prepared her for the wedding but not
for the marriage
. Then, on the occasion of her anniversary, she reflects
on how her years of marriage have
been
.

Ben tells the story of how he met Rachel—a wonderful story of a love
flower blossoming from a friendship bush—in two parts (one and two).
I can’t tell from these posts whether the two are married yet, but it’s a nice
love story in any case. (Thanks to Rey for the link.)

Steve Lynch continues his review of the book Covenant Marriage with Chapter
10:
The Art of Self-Revelation
.

Ouch.
LOL, but ouch. Poor Rey.

Ben Wilson has an
interview with Shaunti Feldhahn
, author of several marriage-friendly
books.

Tim Samoff celebrates three
years with his wife
, and has also begun blogging
her pregnancy
.

Ginny, The Inspired Traditionalist, writes about the
importance of having a Christ-centered marriage
.

Marriage links for the week

I didn’t find many writings about marriage this week. If I’ve missed something
good, please leave a link in the comments.

Dan Haseltine, lead singer for the band Jars of Clay, writes in Relevant about
modern marriage as it contrasts with his
grandparents’ 60 years together
. (ht: Ben
Wilson
)

From the files of Bowden
McElroy
: "Mark Daniels celebrates 31
years of marriage
and lists 10 things he has learned during those years.
Al Mohler writes about The
Cohabitation Trap
. Tim
Ellsworth
wonders why the marriages of high-profile Christian recording
artists seem to be in trouble."

Marriage links for the week

Amy Scott talks about some of her family’s quirky
and adorable little habits/rituals
.
Mrs. Happy and I have a few of our own, and I can’t wait to share them with our
baby and develop even more.

Dr. Linda Mintle explains why people need to deal
with their own issues
before
trying to correct their spouses. (ht: SillyDad)

An article in Christianity Today examines the
mystery of oneness
.

Steve Lynch continues his review of the book Covenant Marriage with
chapters 8 and 9: Getting
to Know Yourself
.

Shanti tells her
love story
on her blog. (thanks to Irene for the link)

Marriage links for the week

Happy Blogiversary to me! Today marks two whole years! If you want to help
me celebrate, reread my first post. Thus end the festivities.

Ryan tries to make his wife feel special and draws
criticism
(in the comments) from all quarters
but hers.

KSmilkmaid demonstrates why kids who live on a farm don’t
need many
(or maybe
even any) toys. (HT: Amy Scott)

Steven is a stay-at-home dad with four kids, and he’s blogging about the experience
at SillyDad.com. All theses stories
about kids are making me envious and impatient for little Tater to arrive.

TheWriteJerry is learning some
important lessons
(and continues
to learn
) about communication with
his bride-to-be.

Steve Lynch continues his review of the book Covenant Marriage with Chapter 7: Five Levels of Communication.

Tim Challies ponders what his life would be like if he didn’t have a family
and concludes that he is not
cut out for single life
.

Marriage links for the week

Marla Swoffer celebrates her fourth
wedding anniversary
.

I recently posted Shelley’s love story here
on this blog
. Her husband Jeff tells
his
side of the story
on his own blog.

Steve Lynch continues his review of the book Covenant Marriage with
a discussion of Chapter
6: Unhealthy Patterns of Communication
.

Joe Missionary ponders the
meaning of intimacy
.

Bowden McElroy addresses the issue of personal change in a marriage in a
post titled Too
Little, Too Late
(and don’t miss part
two
).

Since I was gone for several days to see family and attend a funeral this
past week, Irene took the liberty of collecting quite a few links for me, mostly
from this past week’s Christian
Carnival
:

Mommy
Wives
Fidler on the Roof

More
Of "Mommy Wives" And Spineless Hubbies
Fidler on the Roof

Let’s
Talk About Sex
Ravings of John C. A. Bambenek

The Purposes of Marriage (Nothern ‘burbs blog):
Part I – Children
Part II – Sex
Part III – Completion

Marriage links for the week

Ben Wilson celebrates 20
years of marriage
with Ann and ponders the value of
forgiveness, redemption, and respect in marriage.

Both Steve Lynch and Imago
Dei
bemoan the evolution of wedding vows from "Til death do us part" to "As
long as our love shall last." They say that’s no vow at all, and I agree.

The official record holders for world’s oldest living married couple, certified
by Guiness, are Herb
and Magda Brown
. He is 105, she is 100, and they
have been married 74 years
. Another couple
in France
could conceivably make that claim themselves, but I suppose such
hair-splitting is for the young.

I don’t want to be judgmental, but sometimes I can’t help it. I know there’s
no way of knowing what two people go through before a divorce. It just seems
that if a guy can contract testicular cancer, undergo surgery, receive chemotherapy
treatments that push him to the brink of death, then win the Tour de France
seven times in a row, he would have enough perseverance to keep
a marriage together for more than five years
. (Thanks to Amy
Scott
for the link.)

Bowden McElroy talks about the third and fourth (in a series) triggers for
marital arguments: cumulative
annoyance
and rejection.

Brian writes about 13
years with his wife
over at reasons
why
. (ht: CoffeeSwirls)

An article at Catholic Exchange discusses the
odd tendency in men
to treat
their wives well when life is going poorly, then do basically the opposite
when they find success. (ht: Ryan’s Head)

Jason Berggren challenges the idea of compatibility and endorses making the
choice to love your spouse. It’s a cliche, yes, but absolutely
true
.

Here’s an interview
with Gary Smalley
.

ireneQ has a wacky e-mail address, and she uses it to weed
out potential suitors
with no sense of humor.

I don’t often get theological on my blog, but a light meal brings out a different
side of me
. I should know better than to talk to Rey about theology, since
he makes me a heretic by association (at least as far as his commenters are
concerned).

Marriage links for the week

Jollyblogger offers some advice on how
to survive
while the wife is out of town for a week.

Jollyblogger also marvels at a rich man who thinks women
won’t marry him
because he’s unattractive, saying, "I’ve got to
the point where I have even been asking women I am meeting in the streets
to marry me, but they always say no."

From Doug at CoffeSwirls:
"Parents, do something with your children on a regular basis. Raise them
up to serve the Lord. No matter how they turn out, they will
always look to these good ole days as the formative years that shaped them
into who they will be."

Steve Lynch continues his review of the book Covenant Marriage with
thoughts about the connection
between communication and intimacy
.

Bowden McElroy talks about how unfair
demands
can trigger arguments in a marriage.

Marla lists the ways in which she
and her husband are opposites
, and how they
fit together like a beautiful puzzle.

King of Fools tells how he lost
his wedding ring
and found it again…twice.

When I was in sixth grade, the only worthwhile thing I learned in school was
how to diagram a sentence. I loved diagramming sentences, and in my entire
life I’ve met only one other person who could say the same. But Bryan posted a favorable link to a
grammar Web site
this week, and in the process became
sort of a kindred spirit for me.